“Truly the queen will have my head if I stay,” Court jester #1 said to court jester #2.
“You take yourself too seriously, my friend. Look at the way you’re dressed – you’re a court jester! She’s busy, she’s the queen, she’s got a lot on her mind, she hasn’t even had time to give us names!”
“No, I fear it is personal. Look at how they cut the budget for jesters – and she gives you 30 hours per week and me 8!!”
“I’ve been here 10 times as long as you, don’t I deserve some preferential treatment?”
“Hmm, makes me wonder just how much of the queen’s ear you have? In addition to the fact that the budget thing could have just been all made up just to humiliate me. Before he died the king offered me full time jesting with benefits! Then, days after she takes over, she makes me sign a paper agreeing to the fact that the full-time offer is withdrawn per her authority alone and I have to continue at 20 hours, and only days after that, she brings in a third jester, says the total budget is now 46 hours, you have to get 30 because you’re you apparently, and the other 16 has to be split between Jester #3 and myself. 8 hours, who can live on 8 hours a week of jesting?”
“Did you ever think she’s just responding to you because of the way you’ve responded to her?”
“You mean I haven’t been her personal cheerleader the way you have? Have made my jests perhaps a little too close to the truth? Emanated, or rather did not emanate an air of sufficient deference?”
“I would say emanated a haughty disrespect for the court in general; as if you were too good to be a jester and you didn’t care if she liked your jests or not.”
“I needed that full time position with benefits! I’m getting old to be jesting! My knees ache, my wit is not as sharp, but who can afford the herbalist or barber-surgeon without benefits? And don’t even get me started on the price of leeches these days! I can’t help but think it was personal. Well, I mean she probably would have done it to any other jester in the name of almighty court profits but I think she enjoyed seeing me squirm! And I think she enjoys disrespecting me!”
“Maybe,” Jester #1 said, “after all, she’s the queen and you’re a jester. We’ve got it pretty good compared to the poor bastards in the army, or the hapless serfs working the fields wouldn’t you say? Wait a minute, is it all because she’s a woman and you’re a man and you don’t think a woman should have power over you?”
“I think people should be treated with fairness and respect, period. Man, woman, knight, page, serf, jester, lord, lady, king, queen, what, what’s so funny?”
“You! Tell that one in court, about all people being treated with fairness and respect! Oh, I’m sorry I just have to say it, surely you jest!”
After some silence, during which time Jester#1’s laughter trailed off, Jester #2 said, “I wish I didn’t live in medieval times. Why I would think 500 years in the future people might work for big companies and really be treated fairly and with respect. And not be subject to petty things like budget cuts which is just another word for poor planning and upper management greed as far as I’m concerned, and certainly not feel sick to their stomach when they show up for work because they’re being bullied, subtly or otherwise, despite how good of a job they’re trying to do.”
“Oh stop, please, my ribs are aching! You’re right, you are too good for this court, you need to take that show on the road somewhere.”
Just then the queen appeared, demanding to know why the two jesters weren’t working.
“Oh, but we are your majesty, we…” Jester #1 began but was waved into silence as she turned to Jester #2 and declared, “What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I’m quitting your majesty, as of now. It pains me too greatly to be in your presence a moment longer.”
The queen flushed an angry hue of red, her lower lip quivered, she seemed truly surprised. Jester #2 was even more surprised when she said, “I loved you. I wanted to be fair to you but I couldn’t, I couldn’t help myself from being mean to you. I loved you and I hated you because you’re the son, the bastard son I didn’t mean to have but did because of one drunken dalliance one night away from the king. And so then of course I had to lie to him and lie to you and keep you at an emotional distance lest anyone suspect. I just kept hoping it would somehow work out but the well between us was just so poisoned with dishonesty. Yes, you ought to go now, yes, go and never return. Because of course it’s court policy that if you don’t give two week notice you’re not eligible for re-hire. And don’t forget to turn in your cap and bells and anything else the court forwarded you.”